Proverbs 1:8 and 9

8 Listen to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

I've already been chewing on this one for several days now.  I still have more to dig out of this too I think.

At first glance, this is really hard for me to know what to do with because I am so different than my parents.  Not bad on either side but my beliefs are MY beliefs; beliefs that I have come to through my own searching and life experiences.  So, what am I to do when there seems to be a good deal of oil and water?  Make salad dressing!  Ok, that was corny but I needed a chuckle LOL : )  So, let's skip it!  Nope.  God's word...all of it...is for all of us and is applicable to our lives if we just seek Him and search it out.

What first came to me comes from the saying of, "actions speak louder than words".  Then, there are my parroting little ones and my cringing muscles as I hear what comes from them.  One thing that will push a person farther from God (in my opinion at least) than anything else is hypocrisy.  No one is perfect so, why pretend to be???  When we chastise others for the very thing we do, our pedestal becomes very wobbly then.  As parents, we are the greatest example of who God is in our children's eyes.  It is our responsibility to be as accurate of an example as we can be.  Because, these examples pave life long roads in that child's walk with God or for them to use to run away as fast as possible.  Our children watch our lives far more than they give ear to what comes out of our mouths.  Even this morning, I'm asking Grace if I'm just talking to myself 'cause even with having said her name, she paid ZERO attention to what I was saying to her.  I get more response from my walls than my kids (ok, a little exaggeration there).  Nevertheless, my precious little girl will be in the room with her younger two brothers and all of a sudden I hear ME come out of her mouth and my heart sinks.  That ZERO attention?  Not quite so zero after all!  On the flip side though, she is such an amazing helper with the youngest.  She lays on the floor with him, sits by his side cooing and playing with him just as she sees me doing and she does such a great job at making that sweet baby boy happy as can be.  I see daily reflections of my greatest failures and my greatest successes reflecting from my children.  What kind of mother I am in these first 4-5 years will pave my little ones' futures as children, teens and even adults.  While I fail miserably more times than I wish I did, I have to remember to own those faults and use those as examples of what they need to NOT be and do.  If I don't, then I run the risk of seeming like a hypocrite to my children; being one way outside and another way inside.  

So as a child, a daughter, who is now a woman and a wife and a mother with unique beliefs and plans, how does this scripture apply to me?  I have learned a lifetime of things from my parents.  I have learned their failures as well as their successes.  The greatest thing that I can do is to not pass on the failures and to become even better at their success so that for my children, they can go on to be even greater.  It is the hardest job, that of being a parent.  But, we have a perfect parent to go to, to watch, to listen to and to learn from every moment of every day.  He has no failures and a 100% success rate.  While who we are has been etched (literally) into our brains from the beginnings of our lives, He can totally rewrite our brains and hearts.  

All through scripture, God has given us examples of what sort of parent we ought to be.  He has given up perfect instruction and perfect teaching.  We must read, study, absorb and let it be the lamp to our feet and light to our paths so that we stumble less, stub fewer toes and in the end, give our children a better idea of who God really is.

I've got a few words to look at more in depth.  So, there may be more thoughts to add to this later on......

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Just saw this quote, "Your children are your disciples, so part of your responsibility is to model for them the character of Christ. Your children will learn what He is like from your example, and they will want to become like the Christ they see in you." Perfect for my whole thought : )

Proverbs 1:1-7

1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel:

       2 To know wisdom and instruction, 

      To perceive the words of understanding, 

       3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, 

      Justice, judgment, and equity; 

       4 To give prudence to the simple, 

      To the young man knowledge and discretion— 

       5 A wise [person]  will hear and increase learning, 

      And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, 

       6 To understand a proverb and an enigma, 

      The words of the wise and their riddles. 

       7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, 

      But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

First thoughts:

I am all for peaceful parenting!  I love the heart of it; raising up our children in a peaceful home.  But, there are times that peace needs to be disturbed.  I read a quote today, "As long as the child will be trained not by love, but by fear, so long will humanity live not by justice, but by force. As long as the child will be ruled by the educator's threat and by the father's rod, so long will mankind be dominated by the policeman's club, by fear of jail, and by panic of invasion by armies and navies." ~Boris Sidis   I immediately disagreed with this thought.  Look at today's youth.  We have made spanking (not hittinga child out of anger) not only socially unacceptable but down right criminal even in some states.  Spanking is accused of causing emotional and psychological damage to children but the less we see of spanking, the worse our children are becoming.  Spanking is for teaching but it is also for establishing fear of authority; not the fear that leaves one shaking in their boots so to speak but fear in the sense of respect.  If there is no reverential fear, then what motivates anyone to respect an authority?  Thus, we are raising up a generation of fools.  They are quick to impulse and to please self and slow, if open at all, to being taught any other way than the way that they have chosen no matter how destructive that path may be.  The peace in the home may need to temporarily be disturbed with a moment of discipline in order to see that there is a prolonged season of peace and order in the home and lives of those within that home.  Certainly there are many ways to discipline that do not require spanking but fear and love go hand in hand.  A child that is  properly disciplined instinctively knows that they are truly loved even if they do not like the act of discipline.  A child who is brought up in abuse is brought up in fear; fear of pain, fear of life even, and knows that there is no love.  God disciplines us.  It is not always easy and sometimes can be quite painful but God loves those that He disciplines and when we receive that correction with an open heart and a thankful heart and a heart willing to submit to His will and to repent, there is joy to be found, PEACE to be found in the discipline of our Heavenly Father.  I fear my God but not as a dog who has been beat but as a criminal who stands before the highest judge that stands to pass the ultimate punishment but who offers forgiveness instead because of the Blood of Jesus Christ.  

More thoughts to come....

 2 To know wisdom and instruction, 

      To perceive the words of understanding

To recognize wisdom from folly and hose who are of greater wisdom and knowledge.  To see truth and knowledge.

3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, 

      Justice, judgment, and equity

To be teachable and to receive from those who are of greater wisdom and understanding.  To know what is just and how to be just.

 4 To give prudence to the simple, 

      To the young man knowledge and discretion—

To be able to give sound judgement to even the most simple of matters/people.  To have the ability to make informed decisions which represent a responsible choice and for which an understanding of what is lawful, right or wise may be presupposed.

  5 A wise [person]  will hear and increase learning, 

      And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, 

In walking in wisdom, one is ever learning.  For my life, I've been labeled and "eff'n know-it-all".  I think others who are older become offended by someone younger than them actually having more knowledge on a topic than they.  I am a sponge!  I love to learn and make a whole-hearted attempt to not make an uniformed decision ESPECIALLY when it comes to my children.  So, I read, read, read and read some more.  But, just because I read it, doesn't mean I believe it.  This is where the second part of this verse comes into play.  I don't just read but I research and not for a day or a few days but months and even years, even when I've already formulated my opinion because new data is always there to be found.  To properly educate yourself, you can't just believe everything you read or are told. You have to use "wise counsel" or you will be like a leaf in the wind.