Eucharisteo

My favorite blog, the only one that I actively follow actually, is written by an amazingly beautiful woman; a woman that I wish I could meet and have as an active part in my life and journey of becoming more and more of who God has called me to be.  Despite the miles between us and being one of no telling how many other women who follow her writings, she IS part of my life and through her and her writings, God has spoken so much and moved me to tears more than I can begin to count.  Ann Voskamp writes a Holy Experience and offers far more than just One Thousand Gifts.  Once again, my heart is pricked and moved.  The battle of flesh and Satan rage even stronger as the heart and spirit hunger to move more and more towards purpose and to a long held promise; promises that I try and not shelf in despair and anguish, that I fight fear and anger so to not be robbed of.  The battle to be a thankful child instead of a spoiled brat throwing yet another temper tantrum because things are not going how I want them to go, how I planned them to go, how I feel we need them to be.  To be thankful in all, no matter if it is blessing or cursing, plenty or once again, dry and barrenness.  To move my life from faith that God can to trusting that God WILL. 

In Ann's book One Thousand Gifts (I'm only finishing up chapter three and already I know that change is a must and am moved to start taking those steps to a fuller eucharisteo sozo life) she begins a list of 1,000 things that God has already gifted her with.  Christmas time is coming and my list of wants far exceeds 1,000 things and of all the lists in my life, this list is what saps me of the most joy and the ability to be content with my life and the blessings that I do have.  That "Christmas list" is really more of Satan's distraction and bondage; distraction from all that we already have and bondage to misery and pain as we try and fill up on a more-list that will never end nor come close to fill.  It's like artificial sweetener.  It tricks the mind into thinking sugar, a substance needed, is going into the body when instead, it is a chemical that will only leave the body thirstier and hungrier causing the one ingesting to take in far more than they ought to leading to gluttony and poorer health.  I know that this list of gifts already in my possession is something I too need to begin.  But, it just feels like one more chore to add to my already overwhelming list of things I MUST do.  She says pictures and then all of a sudden, all these simple but awe inspiring and beauty filled pictures that she posts with her blog finally make sense.  Instead of WRITING my list, I too will document in pictures.  I'm a visual person anyway.  I need to bring to life that which God has already given me.  I need to make real the things in my life that I truly am thankful for but get suffocated by the day in and day out grind.  I need to discover those tiny gifts that God gives in day that probably get over looked more often than not because I'm so distracted by everything else, most of which probably are not even needed in my life but are there once again in my attempts to try and fill voids in my that God is trying to fill with Him.  How often do WE get in the way of what God is trying to do in our lives and through our lives????  I'm saddened to even try and put a number to that.

Today, I take a step into learning how to have a life of eucharisteo.  I will document that which God has already given me, the things that I love, the things that make me happy, the things that I am thankful to have.  These will range from the obvious and expected, to the everyday "boring" parts of life, to I'm sure quite odd and unexpected.  I am going to fill up my life with at least 1,000 things, people, places.... LIFE.  I am going to start to whittle away at that list of complaints and wants, the complaints of not enough money, the want of more of this and more of that and more, more, and more; this list of DEATH.